Beacon Close-up: Guy Soundguy, a Life?

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By Max Fontaine | Beacon follow-up beat

Following Guy Soundguy’s sudden, jarring, faxed-in  resignation as Bass Lake mayor this week, the Beacon political arm thought it would be a good idea to look back on the vaporous ex-mayor’s stunning mosaic of inaction over the nearly 18 months he held the highest office near the lake.

What follows are highlights of the incorporeal former mayor’s term in office.

  • November 4, 2014 – Soundguy comes in second in the mayoral election and thus vaults into power. He promptly skips his acceptance speech.
  • November 17, 2014 – Mayor-elect-by-default Guy Soundguy blows-off swearing-in ceremony at Town Hall.
  • January 15, 2015 – Soundguy fails to avoid missing State-of-the-Town Address.
  • January 29, 2015 – Soundguy scarce as town merchants grab the booster bull by the horns.
  • April 15, 2015 – The evasive mayor escapes injury when contrary to initial reports, he was nowhere near an explosion that destroyed the van of Local Cover Band, where until recently Soundguy was chief knob turner.
  • July 16, 2015 – Soundguy shuns parade appearance during Bass Lake Pre-Mid-Summer Festival Week Days.
  • December 5, 2015 – Eschewing the holiday spirit, Soundguy keeps his distance by not attending  “I Can’t Believe it’s Almost 2016 — Again!” holiday extravaganza, hosted by town councilman Enos Felger, D-Dave’s House.
  • February 27, 2016 – Soundguy eludes his own book-signing for “How (I Became Mayor Someday),” ghostwritten by Al Schwartz,  at Bass Lake Public Private Library.
  • March 26, 2016 – Following the resignation of Longtime Bass Lake Town Judge Ambrose MaNaught, Soundguy ignores his authority and duty to fill the seat, leaving several cases in limbo.
  • May 1, 2016 – Mayor Guy Soundguy faxes in his resignation citing a desire to not show up at some future job. He also quits as audio expert for Local Cover Band, Bass Lake’s most enduring cover band.

Jillian Fontaine, sixth-grade intern, contributed cookies and legwork to this story. 

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