By Max Fontaine | Political News Newsman
In the wake of a close-shaved victory in the race for Bass Lake mayor followed by a stunning announcement of resignation, Delores Denominator’s vacated seat will be assumed by Guy Soundguy, who was runner-up in this week’s election.
Soundguy, audio wizard behind the scenes for Local Cover Band, Bass Lake’s most enduring local cover band, finished four votes out of first place in the mayoral election. According to town bylaws, a runner-up assumes the seat, at least temporarily, in cases of resignation, unexpected death, severe injury or non-suspicious disappearance of the winning candidate.
In this case, resignation is “what did the trick,” said Enos Felger, member of Bass Lake Town Council and third-place finisher in the hunt for mayor. Felger received a paltry 9.6% of the vote (rounded down to the nearest 10th).
“It’s in Section G of volume 5,” Felger confirmed today. “I couldn’t find it right away, so I went to the index and looked under “Voting.” There, it says, “See ‘Elections.'” It’s easy to locate from there.”
Specifics about Soundguy’s swearing-in are not yet confirmed. Scheduling will depend on when Denominator officially cleans out her desk.
“There’s a bunch of stuff in boxes in her office there, pens and pencils and pencil sharpeners all over the desk. Maybe she’ll clear it out over the weekend,” said Felger, D-Dave’s House.
Soundguy is on tour with Local Cover Band and unavailable for comment. But someone close to the situation, lead singer Skippy Jenson, spoke with the Beacon during a sound-check at a regional nightclub and said he is “excited as all hell breaking loose” about his colleague’s new opportunity.
“He’s gonna be dynamite, and I think he can do both that and work with the band,” Jenson shouted. “It’s a … wait a second … Hey! Turn down your amp! I’m on the phone with the dude at the paper!”
Max Fontaine contributed to his own report.