Notable quotables from the Bass Lake Beacon area, February (and late-January) 2018.

“We think it might have been, um, I can’t pronounce his name. He’s a foreigner, we think. Hawaiian, maybe. Lots of apostrophes.” — Gwen “Tug” McNabb, chief, Bass Lake Authority Police
“Our area’s beauty lies in its tranquil farmland. This is no place for agriculture.” — Stephanie D’Tassel, longtime area resident
“I don’t have time to go into the specifics. Let’s just say mass-confusion about the purpose of the dance is to blame.” — Yvonne T’Notherchance, organizer, “Bass Lake Community Valentine’s Day Dance”
“There’s an avalanche of snow on its way. Hell if our guys are going out in that hot mess.” — Sallie-Ann Margret, spokeswoman, Bass Lake Street -Maintenance Department
See Quotes of the Month from January — if you dare.