Quotes of the month: April 2016

Notable quotable from the Beacon area, April 2016:

Liquor in the front, stolen from the rear (April 9) (A. Berben-Cocktail/Evidence Photo)
Liquor in the front, stolen from the rear (April 9) (A. Berben-Cocktail/Evidence Photo)

“Shut up and quit asking me things.”
— Greg “Funky” Gregory, owner, Funky’s on the Bayou

“Of the 45 graduates, nearly 24 of them took less than six years to earn the required credits. That’s a record, at least as far as we know.”
Elliott Chamberton, president, Bass Lake University

“We’ll have to consult the DSM first — if anyone even uses that anymore.”
— Wonkie Scrimpton, longtime school nurse, Bass Lake Elementary School

“R-E-S-P-C-T-E! Dammit, did I spell that wrong again?”
— Bot Hezley, assistant principal, Bass Lake Elementary

“Is Trout Lane on the list? No!”
Cooper Sanderstroms, owner, Cooper’s Coops and Chicken Accessories on Trout Lane

“Hell, Al’s an atheist. Get over it!” (exclamation point is Beacon emphasis)
Olden A. Goodway, clerk, Town of Bass Lake, Michiana

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