From memory

Bass Lake Beacon notable quotables, July 2015:
“My god I’m in pain right now.”
— Felix Johnson, 27, crash victim (he’s OK now, btw — asst. editor)
“I’m not at liberty to speculate, my attorney said in a statement.”
—T. Kevin Garling, attorney
“Oh, in case I didn’t tell you, all that wiring is fixed.”
— Carl Pexton, longtime electrical inspector
““It may be here, it may be there — it may not happen anywhere.”
— Elliott Chamberton, president, Bass Lake University
“I have my own opt-out clauses to worry about.”
— Carolyn Shee, vice president, Bass Lake Town Council
“If you don’t get that tape recorder out of my face, you’ve got a lawsuit on your hands!”
— Undisclosed source, quote did not actually appear in a Beacon story, for fear of reprisal