Quotes of the Month: May 2015

Via archival scribbling

Bass Lake Beacon notable quotables, May 2015:

Show me (her) the money. (Mary Jaguire/Unspecial to the Beacon)
Show me (her) the money. (Mary Jaguire / Unspecial to the Beacon)

“Just keep an eye on local death notices for inventory updates. Your mother will thank you for it someday.”
— Davy “Digger” Jones, director, Bass Lake Cemetery and Frisbee Golf Center

“It’s Derby Day!” Let’s rock!”
—Kurt Response, frontman, Local Cover Band Jr.

“Well, some of it, I give to charity. Charity’s my sister-in-law.”
— Robert Furrow, a farmer near Out-on-the-Highway Road

“That thing would have ousted me from my home. Whose lame idea was this anyway?”
— Betty Crocker (no relation), Bass Lake Town Council

“It’s the best tip I’ve gotten. Percentage-wise.”
Rhiannon Lewis-Pasture, 26

“That inning was his worst outing.”
Anthony Manager, head baseball coach, Bass Lake High School

“I don’t understand the question.”
—Bill “Shaggy” Billingsbund, satisfied client, Hair We Go

“Probably as an act of intimidation.”
— The the police

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