By Brock Stafford | Listened to game on the radio

Bass Lake won its boys’ basketball season-opener this week in almost-convincing fashion, 61-44, over Paltry High.

The Canoes (1-0) jumped to an early 24-6 lead, fueled by the on-court dynamics of sophomore sensation Euler Diagram, who finished the game with a game-high 24 points.

BLHS entered halftime leading 40-17. Simultaneously, the players entered the locker room. The pep-band played and fans flocked to the concession stand, although by then it had closed due to a booster club walkout organized earlier in the day. Popcorn enthusiasts plan to approach the school board of education regarding the matter.

Despite a daunting deficit entering the second half, Paltry (0-1) crept back into the fray, at one point slicing the Canoes lead to 45-31. But the Canoes treaded water the rest of the way to secure the much-needed victory.

Leading rebounder for Bass Lake is up for debate, due to a scorebook malfunction.

Paltry High, with an enrollment of 71 and not locatable on Google Maps, was led in scoring by Gel Franklin, by the way it sounded.

Following the win, Canoes head coach Zeb Dreppelin expressed almost nothing.

“Well, what can I tell ya?” Dreppelin said. “I can’t tell you anything. It’s really nobody’s business.”

What’s next for each team

• Bass Lake: A road trip to Emerald Heights, a 3-A school that’s likely to clobber the Canoes. But that’s just, like, my opinion, man.
• Paltry: Didn’t have time to look it up.