Cromwell “Oliver” Spaniard
78 on his next birthday, which he won’t be having, Nearbytown

Cromwell “Oliver” Spaniard, who would have turned 78 on his next birthday, died October 19, 2018, at his home in Nearbytown from a tragic interaction with a lawn tractor.

Cromwell had recently retired from his job as equipment manager of the Nearbytown Department of Grounds and Stuff. He was “fixing up” a Jacobsen Lawn King 1060 when it slipped off its floor jack and crushed him.

He was born June 7, 1941, in Nearbytown to Oliver “Cromwell” and Ginger Spaniard, who died way before him.

He attended Nearbytown Grammer School from 1947 through 1961, when he graduated with a degree of some sort having successfully completed the 8th grade. He never married, but somehow he did remarry, retying a knot with Karen Bonkers, who also left this realm prior to him. They had no children that they were aware of.

In lieu of flowers, Cromwell in his will requested that well-wishers donate a drive belt “and/or other spare parts” to the Nearbytown Department of Grounds and Stuff maintenance garage.