Bunkard Wins in Near Landslide

By Max Fontaine | Beacon election beat

 

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Bass Lake residents rejected two seasoned politicians and elected the untested Forrest Bunkard in Tuesday’s town-wide election. (Photo provided by Skippy’s Cell Phones and Rockin’ Ringtones.)

Forrest Bunkard, the long-time voice of Michiana intellectuals and pop-culture gurus, has won the contest for mayor of Bass Lake, defeating former mayor Guy Soundguy and current mayor Carolyn Shee by an amount some have called  “near  a landslide.”

Bunkard swept both Bass Lake precincts before the polls opened and again after they closed, saying “a clean voting place is a good voting place.” In the interim, Bunkard shuttled between the two offering donuts and coffee or free bookmarks to supporters.

Voters at Jolly’s Morgue & Donut went for Bunkard over Shee and Soundguy by a whopping 2 to 1 margin. Over at the Bass Lake Public/Private Library, the result was much the same.

The win makes Bunkard’s first official foray into politics a successful one.

“As Neal Cassady used to say, ‘yeah yeah yeah right right right,'” Bunkard told cheering supporters at his victory party at Bass Lake Inn-Convenience Tuesday night. “I feel like Roberto Benigni.”

With the stunning victory Bunkard, 48 +/- 2, wrests the top Bass Lake post away for self-appointed mayor Shee. Shee succeeded the elusive Soundguy following his sudden resignation last May.

In her concession speech, Shee congratulated Bunkard on a “hard-fought but bloodless” campaign.

“Forrest is one of those guys you normally would try to avoid,” Shee said to friends and family gathered at Jen’s Ribbon Ribbon Cutting on Trout Lane. “But apparently some people don’t feel that way. I wish him luck.”

Shee will resume her position as town council vice-president.

Soundguy could not be reached for comment

Asked what his first duties as mayor will be, Bunkard said he would try to push through town-wide arts reform and “get that fat bastard McNabb to do his job!”

“We need Poetry in the Park and a chief of police who doesn’t respond to calls based on the likelihood of a free meal,” Bunkard said.

 

 

 

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