Shipment of fireworks arrives for festival

By Max Fontaine | Bang-for-the-buck reporter

“Meow,” said the animal that meows.

A shipment of Class C fireworks from China has arrived at Beijing Bait & Tackle, just in time for the finale of Bass Lake Pre-Mid-Summer Festival Week Days, set for July 21-24.

The expansive collection includes 4,500 Roman candles, 12,000 bottle rockets, 72,000 firecrackers, 115,000 sparklers and three half-dozen aerial cakes.

“We now have everything for Bass Lake’s celebration needs and more,” said Bait & Tackle proprietor Johnny Wen through an interpreter, which was silly, since he speaks perfectly good English. “Happy late Independence Day, y’all.”

BB&T volunteered to cover nearly the entire cost of the supply, with no expectation for reimbursement, since the town budget for fireworks remains meager. In 2014, the festival finale ended in a mishap, due to inability to purchase explosives.

Considering the enormity of the community gift, officials deny that the shipment may have been attained through illegal channels.

“Stuff like that never really happens,” said Bass Lake mayor Carolyn Shee. “You know what channel should be illegal? The one next to Funky’s on the Bayou.

Wen warns residents that use of the festival fireworks is strictly for qualified professionals, including members of the town council and newly reinstated police chief Tug McNabb, and are off-limits to the general public. As a precaution, warning labels have been affixed to all packaging.

“For official use only,” the label reads. “Get away and and you no light fuse!”

General-use gizmos are available at Beijing John’s Boom-Boom while supplies last.

The fireworks display is scheduled to begin at dusk July 24, visible and audible near the lake. Party poppers and pistols are prohibited on the grounds.

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