By Max Fontaine | Beacon Meetings Guy

In her first State of the Town address, Bass Lake Town Council vice president Carolyn Shee struck a chord, touched a nerve and set off a firestorm of yawns interspersed by blinks of misunderstanding.

The speech, normally the job of the mayor, found Shee (R – Bass Lake) filling in for the ever-absent Guy Soundguy who has made exactly zero public appearances ever, despite the high profile gig of running sound for Local Cover Band, Bass Lake’s most enduring local cover band.

Shee’s address, delivered before a half-full town council chamber, shot out of the gate with a rambling 289-word sentence then went on to suggest starting a trade war with Bass Lake’s only close neighbor and reinstating the disgraced Tug McNabb to his former post as police chief.

In announcing her agenda, Shee veered away from traditional SOTT speeches which usually serve mostly as a cheerleading platform. Shee blasted Nearbytown’s sheepherders and called for import tariffs on wooly products.

However, Shee did manage to point out that things are looking up.

“Fellow council members, friends, family and most of all fellow Bass Lakeans, the state of the town is strong,” Shee said.

In his response to Shee’s address, council member Reggie Jones (I – Out-on-the-Highway) merely shook his head.

“I don’t think Shee understands her title is ceremonial,” Jones said. “It’s kind of sad, really.”