Quotes of the Month: September 2015

(Compiled by the person who compiled it)

Notable quotations, Bass Lake area, September 2015:

From left to right, clockwise from upper top and descending downward: Various fishing lures. (Verius Lurz-Leftwright / Courtesy Staff Contribution)

“The low turnout will force me to reorganize my tackle box, as it were. We need them hook, line and/or sinker, as it were.” — Ronald McClure, spokesman, Bass Lake Fishing Tournament (as it were)

“Our entire team channeled Auguste Comte throughout the game. I know that sounds like ‘coach-speak,’ but no other cliche will suffice.” — Jean-Paul Kierkegarrd, head football coach and professor of philosophy, Bass Lake University

“Put the stuff out front so we can get it without a big hassle.” — Gram “Granny” Glenkins, Bass Lake Utilities and Garbage Collection

“Calm down, Mr. What’s-Your-Name-Again.” — Carolyn Shee, vice president, Bass Lake Town Council

“I’m relieved that my position has been retained. Then again, I wasn’t worried much in the first place.” Ward Unit, director of evasive surgery, Regional Corporate Hospital

“We got all these robes and hats.” Father William Thirdstreet III, priest at-large, Third Street Catholic Or Any Denomination Church

This month’s Quotes of the Month feature is earmarked for sponsorship by former patrons/employees of Cottage Cheese Emporium.

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