Alleged Swedish marina.

(Byline omitted)

Bass Lake Beacon notable quotables, August 2015:

“Sam ventured out one afternoon to take photos of a nearby marina. I don’t know why.”
— Samantha Samsonite, contributing travel writer, “Bass Lakeans Abroad”

“That opens up a can of worms, or Pandora’s Box, or something.”
— Carolyn Shee, vice president, Bass Lake Town Council

“I’m optimistic — blatantly optimistic, you might say.”
— Garth Jimmerschmidt, promoter, MusicOutSide

“I can’t even — I just can’t even.”
— Spigot Crawford, 57, longtime Beacon subscriber, regarding redesign

“Thousands of children have played at the park over the years. Now, they’ll know exactly where they are when they’re doing it.”
— Jennifer Sparkle, exalted queen, Local Event Planners Anonymous

“We have matching shirts, you don’t, so move it aside, kiddos.”
— Goodman Jeffers, team captain, Lebowski & Harrelson local bowling team

“It was a substitution mixup. AFL, here I come, bi-otch!”
— Chase Manhattan, backup linebacker, Bass Lake Canoes