Beacon Bits: Fourth of July parade to feature new floats

By Flossie Binkley Jr. | Special neighborhood correspondent

Uncle sam
Uncle Sam (Sam Uncle) waves to a fan as he walks in a recent holiday parade. (Aunt Uncle)

My neighbors are all talking about the new and exciting floats in the Fourth of July parade to be held this Saturday, the Fourth of July in the morning sometime.

And what they’re all worked up about is the new and exciting floats they expect to see from their bag chairs during the Fourth of July parade.

My neighbor to the west, which is to the left if you’re standing on New Oak St. Boulevard facing my house, Annie Ann Andersonberg, can’t wait to see the float the Bass Lake Meeting Club is holding. Annie heard from Dolly McWhittle that the club float will include folding chairs and a vintage Mr. Coffee machine.

My neighbor to the south, which is behind you if you are standing in front of my house admiring my hanging baskets, a blend of impatiens, posies and Venus flytraps, Bethesda Crabcake, said her Tuesday night winter/spring bowling league will have an actual bowling alley, one lane wide of course and without the automatic ball return or hand dryer (how would that work?) set up on three flatbed trailers hooked together and pulled by Ginny Smunson’s mule team, Bessie (what an honor!) and Aloyuisous, which she got for her 78th birthday which was, my lands, some years ago now.

Last but certainly not least is the tingle of anticipation my boarder Flumbert Flumbert told me he gets when he thinks of the Nearbytown Twirlers who will mount a hay wagon to perform their award winning routine Twirling for Tabitha dedicated to that poor young girl who got her arm caught in the baler two years ago and had to have many painful operations to repair the awful gash she suffered to her twirling forearm just days before the Tri-County competition which the Nearbytown girls took second place in and which Mr. Flumbert said he has worn out the videotape he took of it.

It is truly going to be a wonderful parade.

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