The BLAP Beat is taken from the Bass Lake Authority Police dispatch log. 

An officer responded to an alarm originating inside Bass Lake High School early Saturday morning. The officer arrived at the school and discovered a teacher rummaging through his desk on the second floor. The teacher claimed he had left the keys to his recreational vehicle in a drawer. The RV had been in the school auto shop so the students could install a sub-woofer and surround-sound stereo system in preparation for a spring break vacation, according to the teacher. The responding officer questioned the teacher about how he gained entrance to the building. The teacher responded by saying, “duh, I’m a teacher,” according to the report. The officer then questioned the teacher about the possible presence of meatballs in the school cafeteria. The teacher agreed that searching for meatballs was probably a good idea. The officer reported that a stash of meatballs was located in the freezer section of a kitchen food-cooling unit and that he and the teacher proceeded to sample several bowls of meatballs. The teacher, eating on the condition of anonymity, was released without charge. The responding officer then fell asleep on a couch in the school infirmary.