By A. Finn Moss | Beacon Leaf Reporter
Despite lousy weather and an early blast from Old Man Winter, Bass Lake leaf recovery crews have suspended the annual leaf collection citing bad weather and a start-date misstep.
In a report to the town council, on a night earlier this month, leaf crews pointed their rakes and vacuum tubes, in accusatory fashion, at the weather, an error in the published leaf pickup date, and the trees themselves.
“We got off on the wrong foot,” said crew chief Russel Enfall. “First, the dates were all screwed up in the town paper. Then the trees grew way more leaves than last year. The nail in the leaf pile, so to speak, was the freaking snow. Hell, we can’t even see the leaves now.”
The leaf pickup, which began in mid-October and runs through mid-December, began in mid-October and runs through mid-December.
After some razzing from council member Betty Crocker (No Relation), Enfall agreed that the weather is no excuse and that there were no more leaves than last year.
“And the paper screws stuff up all the time,” Crocker said. “Everyone knew when the leaf pickup started. Just do your job and pick up the leaves.”
Enfall countered that the town leaf collection equipment is sub-par.
“Most of our rakes look like smiling meth heads,” Enfall said. “Our tine-replacement stock is at an all-time low. Put simply, we’re running out of tine.”
Knowing chuckles arose from certain quadrants of town hall and drifted into crunchy brown piles as Enfall took his leave.
Enfall expects the leaf collection to continue indefinitely, he said.