Tug McNabb stuns Council, self

By A. Finn Moss, Beacon Mundane Events Reporter

A dozing member of the Bass Lake Town Council was jolted from his slumber Monday when Bass Lake Police Authority Chief Gwen “Tug” McNabb accidentally on purpose discharged his stun gun during a wager-driven demonstration.

The weapon is the newest member of Chief McNabb’s community policing arsenal.

Minor injuries were reported, though none were deemed severe enough to get upset about.

The stunning occurred minutes into the meeting immediately following the beginning of the first intermission.

“I was just catching a few winks during the break when all of a sudden I get zapped by something,” said council member Enos Felger. “Hell, reminded me of the time I wired my garage.”

The demonstration of the stun gun, also known as a “stun stick” or “stun weapon” or “stun device” or “immediate proximity self-defense device” was not on the meeting agenda. Apparently Chief McNabb thought the impromptu display would be humorous.

“Old Enos always sleeps through everything,” McNabb said. “I thought it would be funny.”

McNabb walked up behind the cat-napping councilman, placed the device on the councilman’s neck and pulled the trigger. Councilman Felger jerked and spasmed in his chair before toppling to the floor.

Other council members were equally shocked.

“I didn’t think the chief would do it,” said councilwoman Betty Crocker (no relation). “I guess I owe him a pie.”

To mitigate concerns voiced by council and audience members in attendance, Chief McNabb then turned the weapon on himself and discharged it. Some sort of electro-glue effect took over and McNabb was unable to release the stun gun even after he collapsed. McNabb suffered minor burning to his forehead.

The meeting resumed without further disruption.

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