By A. Finn Moss|Glasses steamed by mask
Despite a recent surge in COVID-19 cases and strong opposition from teachers, members of the Bass Lake School Board of Education voted Monday to restart in-school school learning sessions with a twist “as soon as possible.”
The controversial decision came on the heels of a new pair of shoes worn by board semi-president Ella Menroe.
“I was out for a walk trying to break-in some new shoes when I found myself at the old Out On the Highway Drive-In Theater complex when the idea hit me,” Menroe told fellow board members. “We have drive-ins for everything else, why not school?”
The concept as Menroe laid it out for the board would have individual students sit in abandoned cars while teachers, in their own vehicles, would hold class through the window speakers.
“This home-schooling fiasco has got to stop now,” Menroe said.
District teachers oppose the plan.
“Are they serious?” said Claymore Mine, a fifth-grade replacement school teacher from Kirkwood, who was picked just at random. “I’ve only been teaching for the better part of a year and even I know it won’t work.”
Karen Feeding, president of the Bass Lake Teachers Association of Teachers, agreed.
“It’s a very dumb plan,” Feeding said. “Unless the concession stand is open. Then there might be some wiggle room.”
Details of the plan have yet to be worked out. But Simon Greenless, superintendent of Bass Lake schools, called the scheme “workable if a little kooky.”
“It might be a problem come winter,” Greenless said. “It does solve the social distancing issue.”
Menroe said the vehicles could be donated to the school district by area residents.
“Everyone I know has at least two non-working cars in their back yard,” Menroe said. “What better way to educate our students and clean up our neighborhoods in one fell swoop?”
Interim board member Jax Wilkins volunteered to provide towing services through his company Glimmer of Hope Vehicle and Addiction Recovery.
“Half of our business boomed during lockdown,” Wilkins said. “And it wasn’t the vehicle recovery. Our tow truck could use a workout.”