From rote/written reports

Notable quotables in the Beacon area, March 2017.

“Sugarbushing is a competitive sport to these fellows. Flackjackers take their sap seriously.”
— Flip “Flap” Jack, organizer, annual pancake extravaganza

“I yelled at the fat policeman to stop ruining the story.”
— Jimmy Fracas, local third-grader, at Dr. Seuss birthday party

“At this point, we prefer pure speculation.”
— An expert, regarding restaurant shooting incident

“I thought to myself I should grab whatever unattended pancakes and sausages I could find, before any unnecessary waste occurred.
— Gwen “Tug” McNabb. chief, Bass Lake Authority Police