Longtime file cabinet stolen from town hall

By Merphy Spencer | Max Fontaine’s cousin

Example of a file cabinet, not the one stolen from town hall. (File cabinet photo)
Example of a file cabinet, not the one stolen from town hall. (File cabinet photo)

A file-cabinet dating to the late-1980s has been reported stolen from Bass Lake’s town hall in uptown Bass Lake.

Clerk-treasurer Olden A. Goodway announced the alleged theft via phone call to The Beacon early-morning Wednesday.

Goodway said he encountered the theft almost immediately after arriving at work at the hall.

“I walked into the room, and there it wasn’t,” Goodway said.

He saw no evidence of forced-entry into the building, he said.

“I don’t always do a complete lock-up when I leave work,” Goodway said. “Maybe I should re-think that routine.”

According to Goodway, valuable information is contained in the heavy-metal device, including town council meeting agendas dating to 1973; performance reviews of civic employees, circa 1997; at least 45 unused mailing envelopes; and a placard, dated 1994, declaring Bass Lake as “Regional Town of the Week.”

Newly-minted mayor Forrest Bunkard said he is “perplexed,” mainly from a realism standpoint.

“This was definitely a planned incident, no doubt involving ‘moving-office’ equipment,” Bunkard said. “Do you realize how massive that cabinet is? It’s the collective weight of The Steel Curtain, minus Ernie Holmes. Everyone forgets about him. He was the John Entwistle of the NFL.”

Bass Lake Authority Police chief Tug McNabb said the department will begin investigating the alleged incident “almost immediately.”

“It’s near the top of our to-do list,” McNabb said. “But first, some jokester spray-painted a cross-walk on Main Street Avenue last summer. We have to close that cold-case before it gets out of hand.”

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