By Staph Reports | Beacon Love-Hate Columnist

The annual Valentine’s Day dance scheduled for last night has been postponed.

The Bass Lake Community hosted hoedown was supposed to take place at no set start time inside the magnificent Bass Lake Community Valentine’s Day Dance Hall, aka Bass Lake University concourse (or community hall indoor picnic area.)

But according to dance committee chairperson Yvonne T’ Notherchance, the dance, dubbed “All is Lost, Or is It?” did not go off as planned due to no one knowing when to show up.

“We started getting calls on the concourse blue line around seven last night from people wanting to know what time to be here,” T’ Notherchance said. “We didn’t want to be dogmatic about that, in keeping with the ‘Vague February’ motto being promoted by weemillennials.com. So much for trying to be all hip and stuff.”

T’Notherchance said the Valentine’s Day dance has been rescheduled to coincide with Christmas in July/Shop with a Gnome festivities.

“We should be able to come up with a time for it by then,” said T’Notherchance.