From Kitchen Staff Reports, with color added by various buttinski Beacon reporters who happened to wander by as an underpaid typist was busy at work

Get your pennants and sacks of frozen meatballs ready! The Bass Lake Elementary Little Canoes are hosting their first ever Stock-the-Larder Super Bowl Party.

Budget cuts foisted on the BLE kitchen staff by childless monsters on the school board have necessitated our (their) begging for food, according to a press release from BLE kitchen staff.

To counteract this vicious attack on our students, they are having a carry-in potluck food drive beggars banquet during the running of the 50th Super Bowl.

Canned goods, baked items, desserts, meats (all types), fruits and vegetables and beverages are needed to feed the starving children of Bass Lake Elementary School. Chips and dips are welcome as well, as are non-food items such as Ho-Hos and Twinkies and Brussels sprouts. An Ikea futon sofa would be nice too.

The fun gets going around 5 p.m. Sunday in the multi-purpose room at the school (elementary) with overflow in the teacher’s lounge/boiler room across the hall. Oh, and if someone could bring a big screen TV and a satellite dish that would be great.

Thank you.

The BLE Kitchen Staff