The BLAP Beat is taken from the Bass Lake Authority Police dispatch log. 

A call came into dispatch at 10:30 pm Tuesday from a distraught citizen claiming that a person or persons of unknown description entered her home while she was on a “daycation” and rearranged the furniture in her living room. The homeowner told the responding officer that both of her sofas, a matching set she acquired “at great cost and inconvenience,” had been switched with one another. When the officer inquired as to how she would know this since they were identical in size and color, the resident replied, “I know my sofas.” Other items allegedly disturbed or otherwise relocated included a set of matching table lamps and the matching tables on which they reside, a pair of bookends, the slim shades in her foyer and several forks. The responding officer inquired about the contents of her refrigerator and their placement status. The caller said she was unsure if any food items had been tampered with, as she is on a diet. The officer obtained two slices of white bread, a slice of wrapped yellow cheese and a square of ham loaf, ham in color, as evidence for fingerprinting. No charges were filed.