The BLAP Beat is taken from the Bass Lake Authority Police dispatch log. 

A complaint about a possible home invasion sent Bass Lake Authority Police to a home in the 6.022×10²³ block of Mole St. at 2:52 am on June 23.

The resident, Philip “Flip” Avogadro, told the responding officer that someone had “recalibrated” the stacks of newspapers he keeps stacked around his kitchen.

A search of the premises revealed a flaw in Avogrado’s conclusion, according to the officer. The officer discovered several open windows in the vicinity of the news towers but no sign of forced or unforced entropy.

The officer determined that potent gusts of wind had scattered the pages and that the homeowner should lay off the sauce and get some sleep.

No charges were filed.