Monday:
Kentucky Fried Chicken
Duke tomatoes
Wisconsin cheese curds
Villanova shake
Bracket juice

Tuesday:
Corned beef and cabbage
Blarney stone soup
Green stuff
Potato pie
Jameson

Wednesday:
Spaghetti & broccoli smoothies
More broccoli
Last-day-of-winter freezer fruit cups
Salt-water taffy w/replacement filling paste
Rinse and spit

Thursday:
Ruined-bracket casserole
Cinderella salad
Cable package regret
Slam-dunk donuts
One-and-done tears

Friday:
Plasma donation skirt steak
Kale salad w/pecans and mystery turds
Coconut flavor
Bring-your-own-dessert day
The water is safe to drink

This week’s menu brought to you by (insert sponsor here).