Townwide gift-exchange sparsely-attended

By Max Fontaine/Clara Glendale | Harsh-news/Positive-outlook conglomerate

“We’ll have none of this,” said the collective community. (Ebeneezer Humbug)

A community-wide gift exchange was held Saturday at Bass Lake Community Center.

Nobody attended, except for organizers, organizers said.

“This has never happened before, in the storied program’s 2-year history,” said Emilee Van Dickinson, a co-organizer.

Van Dickinson, who turned 34 on Aug. 1, was visually distraught during a Facebook interview today with the Beacon.

“This is usually a joyous, popular event in Bass Lake. We don’t know what happened. None of us do.”

Her Facebook comment drew upwards of zero responses.

Fellow “Annual Gift-Exchange” planners were immediately unavailable for comment.

When asked if she is optimistic about the tradition’s potential continuation, Dickinson proved pessimistic.

“Maybe we shouldn’t have a gift-exchange anymore,” she said, sobbing textually.

Dickinson endured a similar public humiliation in March, when Bass Lake Town Council rejected her proposal for “Poetry in the Park.”

Sources are uncertain why the holiday-related unifying excursion fell by the wayside. A patron at the Beacon front desk, who is among those refusing to take part in the ceremony, offered his opinion regarding the event’s non-success.

“Maybe everybody’s just too busy, or they didn’t know when it was,” he said. “I just came here to cancel my subscription to the Beacon. Merry Christmas and God Bless America!”

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