Compiled by Clara Glendale and the rest of the Beacon staff

Bass Lake Beacon notable quotables from September 2014:

“I’ve tasted something like it before, but decorum prevents me from saying where.”
— Flick Tremble, Ph.D

“It was a slap in the face. Like gettin’ hit in the face by an open hand.”
— Tiger Clemson, fourth-grader, Bass Lake Elementary

“We don’t want the thief, or thieves, to know we’re looking for them.”
— Tug McNabb, chief, Bass Lake Authority Police (BLAP) (formerly Bass Lake Police Authority)

“Voices were raised. But no blows were exchanged, or anything like that.”
— Gladys Pips, head shift waitress, Grumpy’s Friendly Diner

“I have no complaint about the complaint. I’ve never heard anyone else complaining. That’s my only complaint.”
— Sue Gurvyn, member, Bass Lake School Board of Education

“No comment.” (Alleged)
— Clem Brickston, proprietor, Bass Lake Inn-Convenience Store

“That’s only a second-guess, twice removed.”
—  Local judge Judge Judy Judge

See also Quotes of the Month: August 2014