Helicopter downing turns deadly

By Max Fontaine | Beacon hard news and helicopter crash reporter

fish dinner
The perch involved in the recent Bass Lake helicopter crash died and was breaded en route to the fish hospital at Twin Nut Farms. He, or she, is survived by 345 smaller perch.

What at first seemed to be another case of low-fuel induced carnage may in fact be far more sinister. Or at least an act of blatant incompetence.

Initial reports from the regional aircraft repair facility where the Bass Lake community helicopter was taken following last week’s crash point to a bullet hole in the chopper’s gas tank as the culprit. Where the bullet came from remains to be seen.

The helicopter crashed into Bass Lake during the canceled fireworks display in mid-to-late July.

Bass Lake Police Authority Chief Gwen “Tug” Mcnabb, who was at the controls, scoffed at the idea that a gunshot brought down the chopper.

“Not possible,” McNabb said, scoffing. “Would have exploded. Ever shoot a hole in a gas tank? Well I have. And it ain’t pretty.  Say goodbye to your eyebrows. ”

Others, however, disagree. Self-proclaimed weapons expert Drew First said Chief McNabb is “way off” in his assessment of the crash report.

“It’s totally possible,” First said. “This is not television. Stuff just doesn’t blow up. McNabb is a danger to himself and the community. Has anyone checked his gun? Huh?”

The full report will be made public once someone figures out what happened to it.

In a related story, the perch extracted from Chief McNabb’s shirt pocket died en route to Twin Nut Farms where it was to be rehabilitated. Dinner is at 7 pm.

 

 

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