Compiled by Clara Glendale’s friend | Beacon archivist’s friend

Bass Lake Beacon notable quotables from May 2014:

“They’re cow bones. Whoever brought them to my lab should have known this.”
— Dr. Ulna Femurski, Ph.D., GDTRFB, NRBQ, Bass Lake University’s dean of forensics

“At least that’s what the brochure said we should learn.”
— Carolyn Shee, vice president, Bass Lake Town Council

“If you can’t overrule yourself, who can you trust?”
— Local judge Judge Judy Judge

“Corn’s up.”
— Corn’s up

“Why couldn’t it have just been me, already?
— George “Richard” Dick, 98, current oldest Bass Lake resident

“I switched back and forth between bowling and poetry twice a semester after that.”
— Al Schwartz, Bass Lake poet laureate

“Me? Yeah, I did.”
—Cile Andersan, owner, Potato Salad Junction 

See Quotes of the Month: April 2014