Local Cover Band van non-stolen

By Max Fontaine * hard-news beat reporter

Members of Local Cover Band, Bass Lake’s most enduring local cover band, announced that the group’s van was found safe, two days after it was reported stolen.

Someone had parked it behind a barn and didn’t tell anyone, according to bandmates. Word around town suggests a spouse of one of the band members put the van “where it usually isn’t,” but few could confirm that claim, not even during Facebook speculation.

Following conclusion of the case, Bass Lake Police Authority Chief Tug McNabb expressed joy and intra-unit admiration.

“Resolution of this investigation should finally bring closure to the victims involved,” McNabb said. “I commend my officers for working tirelessly over the previous 45 hours to solve this menace.”

According to Skippy Jenson, youngest member of Local Cover Band, law enforcement had “pretty much no interest” in the situation “whatsoever.”

“One officer told me, ‘you lost it, you find it,’” Jenson said. “Turns out he was right, but he was kind of a jerk about it.”

McNabb denied Jenson’s allegation of police disinterest, during repeated phone calls to the Beacon.

“Resolution and closure,” McNabb said. “Working tirelessly. Forty-five hours.”

Meanwhile, a missing persons report has been filed concerning the location of Guy Soundguy, who was last seen in the vehicle prior to the mis-location. And nobody knows what happened to the drumkit.

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