Results are in: Fifth-grade presidential biographers take the stage

By A. Finn Moss * Beacon Staff Writer (and Bass Lake Elementary School graduate)

Fellow Bass Lakeans, The Bass Lake Beacon is once again pleased to present the Presidents of the United States as profiled by Bass Lake Elementary School fifth graders. That’s right. The results of the 33rd Annual Presidential Biography Contest are in. And by the looks of this year’s three winners, contest originator Elmer Scluebottle would be proud.
he annual contest, now in its 33rd year, was the brainchild of Scluebottle, whose 9 years pestering fifth grade teacher Mrs. Piepenschlatz finally paid off. Elmer Schlubottle’s obsession with the presidency, which some call the “highest office in the land,” is now a tradition. If only Elmer had not been charged with a 1979 plot to kidnap First Son Chip Carter things might be different. He might be here to enjoy the fruits of his passion. Instead, he died of a heart attack in Florida several years ago. But his famous contest roars on.

All alums of Bass Lake Elementary School, at least those of us who made it to the fifth grade, will recall the thrill of scribing a 45-word biography of their favorite president. As I recall I placed second and third in my two years in fifth grade and the lessons I learned editing my biography of Millard Fillmore that second year got me where I am today.

The entrants this year span the width and breathed of the presidency, from George Washington to Barack Obama and several in between. The winning biographies, selected at random from more than eight entrants, are printed below.

Abraham Lincoln
Abraham Lincoln was the 16
th President of the United States of America. Abe served from 1861 to 1865. Abe was born in a cabin he built himself. Abe freed the slaves. Abe died at a play with his wife. Abe got shot in the head.

By Jennifer Sanderstroms. Fifth Grader in Mrs. Piepenschlatz’s Fifth Grade class at Bass Lake Elementary School near the shores of Bass Lake.

He was born in 1913. He had lunch everyday, rain or shine. He liked dogs. He was a vice-president. He had many wives and children. He liked football. His favorite food was lunchmeat. He lived in the White House. He had a big helicopter that

By Gerard McNabb

Barack Hussein Obama
Barack Hussein Obama was born in Africa in 1961. My dad told me Obama is a fan of Muhammad Ali and that he is the first black president. My dad said Obama wants America to be like France but speaking English. He likes playing basketball.

By Colt Clampett

A carry-in reception will follow.

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