By A. Finn Moss/Editor-Type Emeritus

It’s been a long, long time, hasn’t it? But, as someone once said, “Time is something we don’t miss till we’re out of it.” So it is. Elmer Sglubottle would agree, if he hadn’t used up his time already.

Sgluebottle, who came up with the concept of the President Biography Contest in 1981, was an avid biography reader in general and president biographies in particular.

Did he have a favorite? Doubtful. But, who cares? The point is, Sgluebottle’s obsession lives on. And it is the grudging task of the current collection of Bass Lake Elementary School fifth-graders to make sure the tradition continues.

So here goes.

Martin Van Buren By Stumpy Kruger

Martin Van Buren was eighth of the first eight. He was co-finder of the Democrats. He had bushier sideburns than Chester Arthur, but no mustache. He was called “Old Kinderhook,” which was OK with him. MVB calmly led the nation through The Panic of 1837.

Harry S. Truman By Kiko Aguilera

Harry S. Truman was 33rd president. He took office after FDR, who had died recently. A few months later, Truman dropped a couple of F-bombs. In 1948, he won a second term, after losing to Dewey. Truman is the only guy to come from Missouri. 

Donald J. Trump By Plunge Newberg

Donald J. Trump is the 47^th President of the United States. He also was the 45^th President of the United States. He is the first and second Orange president. His feet hurt, so he didn’t join Army. He has a very very very tall son.

Millard Filmore By Jenny Wen

Millard Fillmore was the 13^th President and took office after the death of Zachary Taylor. Fillmore was a Whig, which refers to his party affiliation, not his hairstyle. He destroyed the Whig Party because he favored the enforcement of the Fugitive Slave Act of 1850.

See result from a previous Presidents Bio contest right here at this link.