Mayor orders budget-cut for snow-maintenance

By Max Fontaine | Beacon mild-winter beat

There's no budget like snow-budget. (Lon Chainy/Beacon)
There’s no budget like snow-budget. (Lon Chainy/Beacon)

Bass Lake Mayor Forrest Bunkard today issued another mayoral mandate, this time ordering a seasonal layoff of Joe Sycophant, the town’s snow-removal manager.

“This is a cost-cutting measure,” Bunkard said “It hasn’t snowed more than an inch since late-2016 — why should our tax dollars fund workers to do nothing? I say, slash-and-burn — like a Guns ’n Roses/Talking Heads tribute band.”

Sycophant said he “absolutely” agrees with the mandate.

“Whatever the mayor says is perfect,” Sycophant said. “He’s doing a fine job.”

  • Related: Weekend weather forecast calls for snow showers.

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