Compiled by Mayjean Trotter | One-time receptionist

Bass Lake Authority Police have announced that an ongoing investigation is underway to investigate recent theft and damage involving an automobile.

According to police, a 2003-model car was parked near a home in the 30 block of Spruce Avenue.

Unknown assailants gained entrance to the vehicle by damaging one of the doors on the driver’s side. Items reported missing from the vehicle include a gas cap, subwoofers and tweeters, a hoodie, an ashtray, one windshield wiper, a rear-view mirror and possibly half a six-pack of beer.

The car suffered damage to a door panel, steering wheel, part of a headlamp, glove compartment, dome light, rear-light, GPS system (or perhaps it was stolen), windshield and a portion of the trunk area.

Additionally, back-seat upholstery was ripped, “although that might’ve been there before the incident,” said newly reinstated chief Tug McNabb, who was tricked into commenting for this report.

The Minor Crimes Task Force has been mobilized.