Exclusive: Local judge to retire

By Jackson Frolic | Beacon Senior editor/former Junior Achievement member

Judge Judy Judge is hammering out retirement plans. (Gavel Macleod)
Judge Judy Judge is hammering out retirement plans. (Gavel MacLoud)

Local judge Judge Judy Judge has announced her plans to retire, effective within 45 days.

A major motivation for Judge’s decision was (and still is) to spend more quality time with her money.

“That’s all that truly matters,” said a family member of Judge, reading an excerpt from a high school yearbook found at random in the basement.

News of the decision came a few moments ago, via email, by way of a Twitter feed and a Reddit rumor.

Based on those rumors, he Beacon has decided to break the story. Our news team is frantically gathering details that surround the case, to bring you up-to-date information, round-the-clock, 24-7, just like News23.

Judge, age withheld, is best-known for presiding over legal cases that few people remember, and handing down verdicts that everyone forgets.

Possible exception.

Judge began her ascent to the throne — er, bench— beginning in the late-‘80s, just like Guns N’ Roses. First, the soon-to-be-honorable Judge took pre-law classes at Bass Lake University (then called Bass Lake Community College).

Her follow-up educational path continued when she was accepted at University of Michiana law-school college, after which she served an internship with Lakeview Law & Orthodontics, a Bass Lake firm that is now defunct.

“My career-arc has come full-circle,” Judge didn’t say.

Determination of a successor for her seat is undetermined, according to unofficial statements from local officials.

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