By Jackson Frolic | Beacon Senior editor/former Junior Achievement member
Local judge Judge Judy Judge has announced her plans to retire, effective within 45 days.
A major motivation for Judge’s decision was (and still is) to spend more quality time with her money.
“That’s all that truly matters,” said a family member of Judge, reading an excerpt from a high school yearbook found at random in the basement.
News of the decision came a few moments ago, via email, by way of a Twitter feed and a Reddit rumor.
Based on those rumors, he Beacon has decided to break the story. Our news team is frantically gathering details that surround the case, to bring you up-to-date information, round-the-clock, 24-7, just like News23.
Judge, age withheld, is best-known for presiding over legal cases that few people remember, and handing down verdicts that everyone forgets.
Judge began her ascent to the throne — er, bench— beginning in the late-‘80s, just like Guns N’ Roses. First, the soon-to-be-honorable Judge took pre-law classes at Bass Lake University (then called Bass Lake Community College).
Her follow-up educational path continued when she was accepted at University of Michiana law-school college, after which she served an internship with Lakeview Law & Orthodontics, a Bass Lake firm that is now defunct.
“My career-arc has come full-circle,” Judge didn’t say.
Determination of a successor for her seat is undetermined, according to unofficial statements from local officials.