By A. Finn Moss | Beacon suicide watch

A drive-by suicide attempt failed Friday around noon when the alleged target crashed his car before completing his task.

Calvin Hist, 19, was driving back and forth on Somber Lane  in front of his ex-girlfriend’s house waiting for her to step onto the front porch, according to reports. Hist’s plan was to exact revenge on his 17-year-old ex by stabbing himself in the brain with a long toothpick he had whittled.

Things went awry after the girl exited her home. Hist poked the toothpick into his ear as planned but was distracted from safe driving by the pain and drove onto a stump.

The girl, who declined to give her name, said she didn’t witness the crash because she was looking the other way.

“I hope Calvin is okay,” she said. “What a silly boy. We only went out once.”

Hist was transported  to a local medical facility where he was treated and released. His car will need a new muffler.