George “Richard” Dick, 98, current oldest Bass Lake resident following the death of Betsy “Commander” Nelson in early March, has announced the passing of his latest best friend, 91-year-old Brantley Currant, 91.

“I already miss him,” Dick said from his puzzle table at Out To Pasture Retirement Home. “Why couldn’t it have just been me, already? This is getting old.”

Currant was born 91 years ago, 91 miles from Bass Lake. Brantley grew up, attended school, earned a diploma, possibly served in the military, traveled, worked as a skilled tradesperson in a respectable industry for an extended period and enjoyed a multitude of hobbies throughout his life.

Then he died.

Survivors include Dick; a younger stepsister; five second cousins; 14 late-friends; and a special wife, “Mistress,” occasional groundskeeper at Out To Pasture. He was preceded in death by his father, Father “Daddy” Currant; a half-mother; and a puppy-in-law, Steve.

At Currant’s request, cremation of his flat-screen TV has taken place.

Services for him are pending, and may be in serious danger of not happening at all.

Jolly’s Morgue and Donuts is in charge of arrangements, to some extent. A pre-funeral breakfast buffet is a possibility.