By A. Finn Moss * Beacon Staff Homunculus

Cooper Sanderstroms stared out the window of his store on Trout Lane and watched in resignation as tiny wheeled vehicles pounded his storefront sidewalk into dust.

It was the busiest chicken accessory sales day of the year.

“This is normally the busiest day we have in the coop and chicken accessory business,” Sanderstoms said, his voice heavy with resignation. “And I’m on the sidewalk committee.”

Sanderstroms, like others, including, Jennifer Sparkle and Larry Karen, of  Jen’s Ribbon Cutting and Karen’s Ribbon & Scissors Warehouse, respectively,  has counted on sidewalks being present during the annual Sidewalk Sales “kickoff.”

“We’ve always had sidewalks,” Sanderstroms said. “For the ‘kickoff.’ Now what?”

A meeting last month of several or many leading Bass Lake residents and elected residents ended in dreadlocks when Bass Lake Sidewalk Beautification and Replacement Committee spokesman Rock Underwood mocked the proceedings by showing off his recently acquired hairdo.

“We’re tearing up the sidewalks, mon,” he said. “Then we will replace them. Irie. What’s the fuss?”

The annual sale had already been delayed by two weeks because of the SNAFU between the two warring factions.  The beautification process drones on. No end is in sight.

“I’ve got ribbon cuttings that can’t happen unless we have a sidewalk to stand on while cutting the ribbon,” said Sparkle. “Larry is getting really peed-off!”

Karen agreed.

“This sidewalk stupidity is threatening my ribbon and scissors business,” Karen said. “Ribbons & Scissors Warehouse can’r continue without local sidewalks.”

A decision from the committees involved is expected by fall. In the meantime there will be a Trout Lane Merchant’s “sidewalk” sale in the parking lot south of town.