By M.I. Angola * Beacon Columnist

Well he’s done it again. Al Schwartz, so-called Bass Lake Poet Laureate, has  besmirched National Poetry Month with his latest offering, a pesky little frivolity he calls, “And Under the Beckoning Winds of April.”

Here’s a smattering of it:

And under the beckoning winds of April
That tug and slap with the force of an anvil
The Earth sends forth both crocus and daffodil
And brings back beauty to our patient scaffodil

Okay. That’s enough. I waited until the last day of poetry month to air my grievance hoping to discourage Al from submitting one of his famous  retaliation poems. Wishful thinking I know.

It’s not that Al is a bad poet; he’s not a poet at all. None of his writing is anywhere near the neighborhood of poetry. Merely linking words together without punctuation does not a poem make. And if he ever returns my shovel I hope to hell he hasn’t used his woodburning kit to etch another “poem of the simple working man” into the handle.

But enough griping about Al. What’s got my back up is the Bass Lake Town Council and their reckless spending. A helicopter? Really? Under what circumstance would anyone ever need a helicopter in Bass Lake? We barely have a stop light. And to waste funds on a whirly-bird instead of using the money to repair – not tear up – but repair the public access site at Gerald Fjord Park is tantamount to criminal behaviour.  I say we recall that bunch and hold a special election as soon as possible.

Here’s a prediction: Within a month of delivery (if delivery of a helicopter from some guy in Prague once he has our cash is actually going to happen) I predict Tug McNabb will forget to put oil in it and the engine will seize  as he’s spying on the nudist group during their annual island retreat.  It’s a certainty. How many police cruisers has he burned through in the past few years? Ask yourself that question before placing your bets.

M.I. Angola is a Bass Lake Beacon columnist. He wrote this.