Minor crash turns into major event

By Max Fontaine | Hopes to get a raise this year

A time-regressed reconstruction of the crash. (20th Century Crocks)

What appeared at first to be a mere fender-bender in uptown Bass Lake has left two people in critical condition at Regional Corporate Hospital.

According to Bass Lake Authority Police, the crash occurred shortly after 1 p.m. Tuesday, when an SUV and a little car of some sort collided at a low rate of speed. Both drivers had to be extricated, a fact that later puzzled crash-scene reconstruction experts who remained at the scene long after everyone else was gone.

The injured parties have not been officially identified. A medical expert at the hospital said it’s likely each will be upgraded from “critical” to “time to go home” within a day or so.

Regional Corporate Hospital has installed a new sign at the entrance of its emergency-room foyer, thanks to contributions from wealthy residents.

“We don’t trust either one’s insurance is going to pay us enough — our bottom line is the bottom line,” said the source, who asked to remain nameless, although his first name is Steve. “Besides, the ‘critical’ designation is nothing more than a formality. A lot more exciting, though, in the heat of the moment.”

One witness at the scene said he worries about the victims.

“Then again, I worry about almost everything,” said Bass Lake-area resident Myles Anguish.

Investigation continues, said BLAP chief Tug McNabb.

“We don’t expect anything to come out of it,” he said. “We can’t solve everything.”

 Assisting at Bass Lake Authority Police at the scene were Bass Lake Fire and Emergency Institute, Quick-and-Fast Ambulance Company, a retired nurse practitioner who nearly witnessed the incident, Burt & Gurney’s medical supply service, backup support from Nearbytown volunteer victim services cooperative, an EMS understudy with an associate’s degree from Bass Lake University, Earl’s Part-Time Towing and a tractor.

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