From Bass Lake Transcriptionists

Bass Lake Beacon notable quotables, March 2015:

“You know how it is in this part of the region. When it rains, it snows.” — A Bass Lake resident, disguised as mayor Guy Soundguy

“This is a crowning achievement on a season we’d all rather forget.”— Cody Shee, starting guard, Bass Lake High School Canoes boys’ basketball team 2014-15

“Try to spot the fake quote, which is this one.” — Chiou Yueh, chief, Bass Lake Authority Police

“There was this odd screeching noise coming out of the room. I had to move some folding chairs that were stacked in front of the door.” — Jan Itorinnadrum

“When spring officially arrives in a week or so, winter will be over. A simple glance at any free insurance office calendar will tell you that.” —Alberta Clipper, climatologist, Bass Lake University

“This was … one of the best winters for anglers in this area, based mainly on ice-time/catch ratio.” — Darwin Wrattlebate, historian and chief of fisheries science at Bass Lake Center for Fish and Sundry Wildlife

“We thought we’d include some older folks this year. Get them out of bed and such. That backfired.” — Vernal Clampett, chairperson for “Spring Into Spring”

“We can’t work that close to structures.” — Justine Timely, vice president, Timely Concrete Sidewalks