Compiled by Clara Glendale’s friend | Beacon archivist’s friend

Bass Lake Beacon notable quotables from June 2014:

“We’ve done the math. Two plus two still equals three plus one. Five.”
— Delores Denominator, mayor, Bass Lake

“It got kinda creepy the other night. All these old men in shorts and street shoes clogged up the place.”
— Billy Tremble, stock boy, Bass Lake Grocery and Deli Mart and Hardware

“Call me again in August.”
— Gil Chantee, lake-area seasonal historian and chief of fisheries science at Bass Lake Center for Fish and Sundry Wildlife 

“Are you finished with that (expletive deleted) community calendar yet, Glendale?”
— Jackson Frolic, Beacon senior editor, to dedicated employee Clara Glendale

“Criminals don’t need to know we’re looking for them.”
— Tug McNabb, chief, Bass Lake Police Authority

“This will really help the next time I get groceries. I feel honored.”
— Keilie Vaccine, 1st Street, regarding coupon

“What a sad, sad day. I mean, it was a sad day already, but the toppling-over made it twice as worse.”
— Peppy Schlitz, 45, occasional Bass Lake resident

See also Quotes of the Month: May 2014

See also-also Quotes of the Month: April 2014