Compiled by Clara Glendale | Beacon archivist
Bass Lake Beacon notable quotables from April 2014:
“It was something I wanted no more of.”
— Delores Denominator, Bass Lake mayor-by-default
“It’s hat-into-ring-throwing time!”
— Forrest Bunkard, local intellectual
“Gawd, this is never, ever gonna work.”
— Joe Joseph (BLU ’79) Bass Lake Beaver superfan
“What the hell was I supposed to do?”
— Jim “Jolly” Jimmerschmidt
“They’re actually plastic, fillable ovulars, from what I can gather.”
— Jennifer Sparkle, Egg-Gathering-Ham Walk planning committee
“We’ve always had sidewalks.”
— Cooper Sanderstroms, Cooper’s Coops and Chicken Accessories on Trout Lane
“It’s just a garage. Why are you here?”
— Clifton Inoculator, Bass Lake handyman
“I’ll answer that for you. I’m not.”
— Greg “Funky” Gregory, owner, Funky’s on the Bayou
“With that chopper, we can surveil like nobody’s business.”
— Tug McNabb, chief, Bass Lake Police Authority
“You have reached the voicemailbox of … Skippy. Jenson. … Is not available. After the tone, please record your message. When you are finished, press 1, or simply hang up … Beep.”
— Voicemail message from Skippy Jenson, lead singer of Local Cover Band, Bass Lake’s most enduring local cover band
See Quotes of the Month: March 2014
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